Tuesday, February 26, 2013

One-Armed Living Advice

You never know when you might find yourself without an arm. Especially when there are icy sidewalks in your neighborhood. So as a public service, I've compiled a list of tips for living with one arm.

  • Don't remove your socks. You'll never get them back on.

  • If you eat bagels, arrange someone to slice them at the store.

  • On the good-armed side of your body, don't sweat. You won't be able to wash it in the shower.

  • Have the cashier open any bottles or jars that you purchase before you leave the store.

  • Before becoming one-armed, prepare all your meals in individual dishes and store them in the refrigerator or freezer. Bite sized foods are essential. Soups and stews, good. T-bone steaks, not good.

  • Wear only pajamas. If you must wear clothes, hire a tailor to sew clothes on you in the morning, and cut them off at night. Better yet, become a nudist.

  • Store your butter on the counter, not in the refrigerator


    Tuttle said...

    Fortunately, a computer mouse only needs one hand!

    deals said...

    Nice post Chris.