A Pair of Orsons

Somehow this obscure thought came to light during dinner with friends this week - I used to get these guys confused:

Orson Welles:


Orson Bean:


One was morbidly obese, one was morbidly thin. To be fair, looking at some photos from their younger days, the contrast isn't so striking:





And if we can believe Wikipedia, Mr Bean is still alive. All this thinking about Orsons reminds me that I've never seen Citizen Kane...

Tiger Farts

I got a fresh supply of Tiger Balm last week (more on that later). Although you can smell me coming from 4 blocks away, this stuff is great for my back aches. I happened to unfold the impossibly thin piece of paper that comes in the box, and among the 2 dozen languages I found some English instructions:





FLATULENCE???? I can't begin to imagine. Well, actually, I did have one vague idea: if you apply enough of this cream to your body, you will smell like a menthol/camphor factory. Perhaps that would mask even the worst possible gaseous emissions? I'm still puzzled about the dizziness, any ideas?

Those who like these unusual claims, I've written about two similar ones before:

Sansachun wine bottles

sliced bread at a local bakery chain